THE Honeymoon Highlight

I didn’t know I was so clever. In fact, I had absolutely no idea what I’d done until it was happening. It’s the sort of thing you do for someone and keep it as a surprise, because it’s so GOOD.

Somehow I managed to surprise both of us.

I booked us into Mosaic – reputedly Bali’s best restaurant. We were to have the degustation menu (our second such indulgence for the trip – the first being at Lamak, with my friend Beverley, where my fellow diners and I shared our first sweetbread experience. For those that don’t know, sweetbread is not bread. And it it’s not so sweet either. Some say “testicle”. I have heard “pancreas”. But don’t let that deter you from this otherwise delightful dining experience. However, I digress...).

When we arrived at the restaurant, I gave my name to the maître-de, but it didn’t appear to be on the list. “That’s bloody typical,” I thought, “‘Best restaurant in Bali?’ I doubt it!” Just when I was about to start rifling through my bag for my booking confirmation, I heard the maître-de exclaim: “Oh! You’re having the Chef’s Table! Follow me!”.

We were at once ushered into a posh lounge area where a man was playing the piano and a few other guests were sitting on plush couches and sipping elaborate cocktails with a general air of self-importance. The whole scene seemed ridiculously inappropriate to me, considering the economic climate of our broader location. This notion was compounded by the man sitting opposite us who was, for all intents and purposes, Don Johnson from Miami Vice, complete with ridiculously long side-parted fringe that he seemed to enjoy flicking back dramatically with both his hand and his head at the same time, with great aplomb. He just made the whole thing feel downright tacky.

After half a caprioska on an empty stomach, I forgot about Don and started looking forward to the food. With our drinks we were served a canapé of black truffles in puff pastry - gourmet vegetarian sausage roll – and as soon as I bit into it, I immediately realised something:

I don’t like truffles.

Is that a faux pas?

Of course, I didn’t complain. I still scoffed the lot.

I just went off and vomited quietly in the corner afterwards.

Only joking.

We were then collected by a waitress and whisked off to our second location. We walked through the restaurant and down the stairs out the back. Then we were led into a smaller building with around half a dozen tables set up (Don was sitting at one of them, flicking his hair and looking generally seductive), and a fully functioning kitchen. It was then that I twigged: OH MY GOD. WE’RE GOING TO WATCH OUR FOOD BEING COOKED BY REAL CHEFS IN A REAL KITCHEN!!!!!

It was something I’d been dreaming about for a very long time.

Our six-course degustation came with matching wines and it was perhaps the most fancy, French-influenced Asian meal I’ve ever had.

Here is the menu (you will note the chef’s preoccupation with truffles. Personally, I think truffles are passé, but that is perhaps one of my only complaints):

(Click on the image to enlarge, and then drool, if you wish)

And here are a few of the dishes:

I was on a silly high for much of the evening, but it was one of those nights that will definitely be one to remember, and a lovely way to spend our last night in Ubud. Even Don Johnson couldn’t spoil it.